The Night Before Christmas
by rroselavy
Summary: It's the Kaiba brothers' annual Christmas Eve party, and with Mokuba playing Santa, things are bound to get ... interesting. Written for ADL Xmas Challenge


Title: The Night Before Christmas (1/1)   
Author: Rroselavy

Rating: R

Pairing(s): S/J, M/D, A/Y, B/R, T/T

Beta: Akuchan

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I do not own or profit in any way from Yu-gi-oh!

Summary: It's the Kaiba brothers' annual Christmas Eve party, and with Mokuba playing Santa, things are bound to get ... interesting. 

"C'mon Joey, it can't be that bad," Tristan implored. "At least you know there's gotta be some awesome food. It says so right here..." He fumbled under the green costume he was wearing for a facsimile airline ticket that bore in large Old English text the inscription 'Destination North Pole.' Underneath the ornate text were the particulars-'The bearer and one guest are invited to the Kaiba Estate for a traditional Christmas dinner and party on Saturday, December 24th, 2005 at 9pm. Jacket Required.' "Besides, you're going to know everyone there, there were only six tickets, er, I mean invites-"

Joey scowled at his friend. Even the visage that greeted him, Tristan dressed as a Christmas tree, failed to lift the black cloud that hung over him at the mention of Seto Kaiba's Christmas Eve party. More like Mokuba's excuse to get some quality time with his new beau, Duke Devlin. And he had to wear a suit, no less. He looked forlornly at the second-hand suit he'd inherited from Tristan hanging on a hook on the wall of the trailer they were all huddled in.

"No Tristan, it will be that bad. Joey replied darkly. "Wait a minute! Mine doesn't say 'guest'-"

Tristan smiled cheekily. "That's because you don't have a guest to bring. By the way, I heard Mokuba invited Mai, but she couldn't get back in time for it. She had some photo shoot in Tahiti."

Joey thought about his old friend Mai, who'd become a successful swimsuit model. Everyone had thought that they would have made a great couple, but he'd had to confess to her one night that his feelings for her didn't extend beyond those of a brotherly nature. Afterwards they'd drifted apart, though Mai had assured him it had more to do with her burgeoning career than any resentment over his admittance that he was gay.

"Joey, we'll all be there, we won't let Kaiba insult you." Tea, dressed as an elf, averred. He glanced about at his old friends-Tristan, Yugi, Tea and Ryou. Tristan and Tea had been dating for over a year, and were already talking about marriage after they graduated college, and both Ryou and Yugi had been reunited with their now-corporeal spirits. That had been one freaky trip, but once the gang had gotten used to it, the newly physical forms of the apparitions, they were welcomed into the circle of old friends. Well, at first, despite Ryou's assurances, it had been touch and go for Bakura, but lately he seemed to be making an attempt to stop behaving like a sociopath. Of course they'll all have a great time tonight, he thought glumly.

"Yeah Joey, no dog jokes tonight!" Yugi, in a matching elf outfit agreed.

"C'mon, Joseph," Tristan said in a mock stern voice, "It'll be a blast."

"Oh yeah right, just like this was!" Joey said, waving his hands about wildly. "'Let's all work on my uncle's Christmas tree lot this season, it'll be fun.' Instead we're freezing our asses off in a snow storm!"

"Well at least you aren't dressed as a Christmas tree-"

"Or as an elf," Ryou, dressed in apparel matching Yugi and Tea, added.

"Damn right I'm not." Joey adjusted the Santa cap on his head. "This is about as Christmas as Joey Wheeler gets." He looked his old friend over, dressed head to in green, grateful that he'd been spared that embarrassment.

"It hasn't been that bad," Tristan disagreed. "We all made extra money between semesters, that's a plus."

"Yes and we got to work on Christmas Eve" Joey grumbled.

"And invited to a great party," Tristan countered.

"Yeah, if we even make it there," Joey parried, glancing out of a grimy window and onto the deserted lot. There must have been at least 6-inches of snow building up on the asphalt and the fresh-cut trees that were for sale. The snow sculptures that he and Tristan had made earlier in the week in a contest to decide who would have to don the Christmas tree costume Tristan's uncle thought would help with sales (the elves' costumes being far to small for either of them) were becoming grotesque caricatures under the fresh snow. There had been no way Joey was going to lose that contest. His jolly St. Nick had been inspired-easily surpassing Tristan's lumpy snowman, and Yugi, Tea and Ryou had unanimously voted in his favor. It was amazing how motivation served to enhance artistic talent. Joey looked at the steadily falling flakes, illuminated by a nearby streetlight, confirming his suspicions that the storm was not abating. In fact, if anything, it looked like it was snowing harder by the second. "Flurries, my ass." He grumped.

"I know a way to cheer you up, bud." Tristan said, eyes gleaming. "How about a little singing?"

"Deck my balls with boughs of holly  
Fa la la la la la la la la  
Tap the keg, inflate the dolly-" Tristan belted out, which earned him a not-so-gentle thwap from Tea. "Ow! You know I'm only kidding, sweetheart ... you're the only 'dolly' for me." He shrugged apologetically. Joey though, began to sing next verse:

"See that drag queen his name's Molly  
Fa la la la la la la la la  
For 50 bucks he'll make you jolly  
Fa la la la la la la la la  
See him in his gay apparel.  
Fa la la la la la la la la  
You should meet his brother Carol.  
Fa la la la la la la la la"

And as Tea chased him about the small confines of the trailer in an attempt to stop the naughty singing, Tristan had joined in for the bridge.

"Naughty girls are such a treasure,  
Fa la la la la la la la la la  
These North Poles were made for pleasure,  
Fa la la la la la la la"

Tea threatened all manner of punishment that could be bestowed on fouled-mouth boys, before ending with the admonishment "Santa's going to leave coal in both your stockings if you don't watch out."

"At least coal would be something useful! They turned the heat down ta 60 in the dorms over winter break." Joey harrumphed. Since he'd moved on to campus their first semester, he'd chosen to stay there over breaks rather than spend the time at home, alternately aiding and avoiding his alcoholic father, though he did drop in every day over vacation to check up on him.

"Joey, where's your Christmas spirit?" Yugi asked, grinning hopefully. "Don't you believe in Santa Claus?"

"Hmmf, the only thing the fat man in a red suit ever left under my tree at Christmas were some empties and a couple of second-hand toys." Joey crossed his arms over his chest. "Look, you all have someone to go to the party with-you're all in love-that just leaves me an' the ice prince keeping each other company." Not that that was such a bad idea, Joey thought to himself. Except for the fact that the aforementioned ice prince, Seto Kaiba, despised him, and went out of his way to humiliate him every chance he got.

"You never know Joey, I'm sure there's bound to be some mistletoe somewhere in the mansion that you could catch Seto under." Ryou's soft accent added.

"Gah! Ryou! Shut UP!" Joey made a mental note to himself-never get drunk and confide a secret to his snowy-haired friend. Unless of course, he wanted everyone to know it-that he was attracted to the icy brunet.

"Like none of us knew you have the hots for Seto Kaiba." Tristan said smugly. "You're about as subtle as a gorilla, the way you look at him with your puppy-dog eyes. But who knows, maybe after a few drinks he'll loosen up and let ya kiss him without complaining about dog germs-"

"Tristan!" Tea exclaimed in consternation.

"Why I oughtta-" Joey huffed, launching himself at his pyramid-shaped buddy.

Just then the bell on the trailer door opened and the topic of conversation and Joey's crush stepped inside. Kaiba snorted as he looked around at the friends. "It figures. The only Christmas tree lot open tonight, and you're all here." He looked at Tristan in his Christmas tree costume, his arms wrapped around Joey. "Taylor, you look like a moron." He sneered, trying to ignore the fact that seeing the object of his desire, Joey Wheeler, in someone else's arms, however innocently, made him want to throttle the owner of those limbs.

"And a Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Kaiba" Tristan replied stiffly, gritting his teeth and pushing Joey away as the blond unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh.

"What was that ya were saying about it bein' worth it, Tristan? I guess you were right." Joey breathed a sigh of relief that Kaiba's insult hadn't been pointed at him.

"So are you all going to stand around like idiots or is someone going to help me?" The tall brunet leveled his icy gaze at Joey.

"W-well what d'ya have in mind, Kaiba?" Joey asked tentatively, not comprehending why Kaiba seemed to be in such a foul mood.

"A Christmas tree, Mutt. Are you selling anything else?" Kaiba added snidely.

Joey blushed furiously and became suddenly tongue-tied. "C'mon Moneybags!" He pushed past Kaiba and the brunet followed him onto the lot.

After the door slammed behind the two men, Tristan commented "Uh, guys? Was that my imagination, or did Kaiba just check out Joey's ass?"

"It wasn't your imagination," Ryou replied. "Kaiba has it as bad for Joey as Joey has it for him."

"And you know this because?"

Ryou smiled mysteriously. "A little birdie told me."

Joey swore under his breath, stamping his feet impatiently and in defense against the bitter cold. He decided that Kaiba was deliberately keeping him out on lot to make him miserable, asking inane questions about what forest did this tree come from, or which species of tree held its needles longest, or if one kind was more hypo-allergenic than another. He shivered underneath his thin denim jacket that was certainly not weather-appropriate. In the meantime, he noticed, that rich-boy was dressed head to toe in a charcoal cashmere overcoat, with a royal blue scarf tucked under the collar, amplifying the intensity of his blue eyes. I'll bet he's warm and toasty, the blond thought to himself, his mind drifting to thoughts of how nice it would be to share that coat, his body pressed up against the taller brunet. He'd grab that scarf at both ends and yank Kaiba's face to his ... His daydream was interrupted by a face-full of snow.

"What the fuck didja do that for?" Joey seethed at the smirking brunet, vowing to pay him back for that little antic.

"You weren't paying attention," Kaiba answered nonchalantly. "I'll take this one." He stamped the base of the trunk on the pavement to remove most of the newly fallen snow from its branches. "You'll need to put it on the roof of my car," Kaiba added as he peeled off one hundred dollars from a wad of bills in his pocket and handed the payment to Joey.

Joey looked at the tree with some trepidation. It was well over eight feet tall, and would be a bitch to maneuver onto a car roof. "What did you drive here, the Hummer?" he asked hopefully, while mentally patting himself on the back for not laughing at the overtly sexual connotation of the vehicle's name. As Kaiba nodded, he continued, "It would be a lot easier ta load this baby inta the back."

"Yes if the back weren't filled with a ridiculous gift basket that Duke dropped off for me at the office to bring home to Mokuba. Of course it wouldn't fit in his fucking Scaglietti." He added churlishly.

"You're still sore about them dating? I think Mokuba and Dice-boy make a great couple."

"That's only because 'Dice-boy' isn't after your sister anymore, Wheeler." Kaiba snorted.

"Yah, that's definitely a load offa my mind," Joey agreed. "Look on the bright side, at least Mokie can't get pregnant." He finished sawing of the bottom inch of the tree trunk, and pushed the tree through the baler under Kaiba's unnerving and unreadable expression. As he hoisted the tree on his shoulder he was momentarily thrown off balance from its weight, relieved that the brunet had caught the trunk end and stabilized it before he fell on his ass.

"You really shouldn't be let off your leash."

"That's right Money Bags, keep it up with the insults. Whatsa matter? Santa not getting you that company you wanted this year?" Joey wisecracked, trying in vain to turn around and face his nemesis, but the brunet had maintained his grip on his end of the massive tree and managed to forcibly steer him toward the hulking vehicle. "Holy shit ya weren't kidding, were ya?" Joey exclaimed as he came up to the rear passengers' windows. From what he could see, Duke's gift basket filled the entire back of the Hummer. "What'd he need, a forklift ta deliver it?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes in disgust. "No he graced me with his presence, if only to rub it in that he was planning on spending the night. Don't you get any ideas, Mutt. My house isn't a pet shelter."

"Can we pick up the pace a bit?" Joey asked, pointedly ignoring the latest barb. "In case ya hadn't noticed, it's freezing out here. Oh, and Mokuba already invited everyone to stay over. Grandpa is on holiday in Egypt-"

"Spare me, Wheeler. I don't care if he invited the Queen of England to sleep over--just don't shed all over my furniture. The cleaning company charges more to pick up after pets."

Joey began to protest, but stopped himself suddenly. Despite the insult, Kaiba had just acknowledged that he was sleeping over. He grinned to himself. Progress was a good thing, and this was progress, minute progress, but progress just the same.

They hoisted the tree onto the roof, and Joey quickly fastened the ropes between his trembling fingers. As he was tying off the last end, he felt the warmth of the brunet's body behind him.

"When you show up later, I'll have something for you that will definitely warm you up." The brunet said cryptically.

Joey blushed furiously. Kaiba didn't just ... no, he wouldn't have ... Kaiba couldn't have just flirted with him.

"Fucking hell!" The brunet exclaimed, reaching past Joey to an orange card stuffed under his windshield wiper. "A parking ticket? Who the fuck is out on Christmas Eve in a snowstorm writing tickets?" He asked incredulously. Joey shrugged his shoulders, still reeling from the brunet's come-on. "Where's the fucking hydrant?" The irritated brunet continued. Joey wordlessly pointed to a nondescript mound of snow.

Gazing in the same direction that Joey pointed, Kaiba furiously muttered a string of curses and opened the driver's door. Before getting in, he turned back to Joey. "So I expect to see you later on tonight, Mutt." Before he could think of a smart retort, the door slammed shut and the brunet turned his attention to carefully maneuvering out into the snow-covered road. Joey stared out at nothing for a few moments after the taillights disappeared before turning back to the warmth of the trailer, thinking that perhaps this Christmas wouldn't be so bad after all.

He opened the trailer door and immediately heard the tinny strains of "Jingle Bell Rock" and his friends' laughter. Someone had turned the radio on, and as he closed the door behind him, he saw that Tea had an arm slung over Yugi and Ryou, and they were kicking in place chorus-girl style while Tristan was clumsily pirouetting in the cramped space.

"You guys are just so gay." Joey commented, rubbing his near-numb hands together. He looked at the clock on the wall behind an office desk. "And we are officially closed." He took the money Kaiba had handed him and threw it into a cash box and then placed that in a small safe and closed the door.

After they took turns changing in the tiny washroom-Tea of course spending an inordinate amount of time primping, to which Tristan whistled appreciatively-they climbed into the brunet's beat up Nissan for the treacherous drive over to the Kaiba mansion. Wind was driving the snow wildly about, and Joey, having called and won 'shotgun,' was white-knuckled from gripping the dash. Fortunately, by the time they made it to the estate, the snowfall had tapered off. It seemed that the surprise snowstorm was over.

The gates to the driveway had been festooned with a giant holly wreath, and as Tristan rolled down his window to press the buzzer to be admitted onto the estate, their ears were assaulted by mechanical singing, for all appearances emanating from the wreath. As a chorus of voices churned out "Let it snow," Joey and Honda drowned out the hideous caterwauling with their own lyrics:

"The weather outside is frightful, but the beer inside's delightful  
And since we've no place to go  
Let it flow  
Let it flow  
Let it flow-"

Their throaty singing earned simultaneous resounding whaps from Tea, who was squeezed between Yugi and Ryou in the back seat.

"Ow, Tea! What'ya do that for?" Joey complained, stealing a glance over his shoulder at the diminutive woman who glared back at him.

"Can't we all just have a nice time tonight?" She pleaded.

"I was" he grumbled good-naturedly before ducking another swat. Yugi, Ryou and Tristan giggled madly.

"Look Bud," Tristan advised. "You should know by now Christmas is Tea's favorite holiday, and you don't want to mess with her little idea of how it should be celebrated. OW!"

"You're just as bad as he is, Tristan Taylor! Now let's get to the party!"

"All right, all right, I give!" he said pressing the buzzer. The gates swung open and they crept up the long driveway, taking in the extravagantly decorated mansion and grounds. All the trees were bejeweled with strings of lights, and each window of the massive house had an electric candle burning in it. Swags of lights hung from every windowsill, and a huge red ribbon had been wrapped around the house, extending vertically from the front door over the roof, dressing it up like a giant present.

A valet motioned for Tristan to stop the car, and they all piled out into the several inches of snow that spread on the huge lawn. The heavy oaken front door was thrown wide behind the outer storm door, and warm inviting light spilled out from within. They hurried inside and handed their outer coats and damp shoes to the waiting butlers.

" ... So I go to sign for the delivery, and I'm looking over the invoice like, I did not order this." Duke's voice floated in from the parlor. "It's one fucking hundred and seventy-three pounds of traditional English plum pudding! What the fuck do I need that for?" he complained to Atemu, who nodded his head sympathetically. Joey saw Kaiba smirk as he passed by the ebony-haired CEO and immediately figured out that the brunet had somehow had a hand in that errant delivery. Surreptitiously, he drank in the slender brunet. Kaiba was dressed in a white cashmere turtleneck with a baby camelhair sport coat that draped over his lean torso enticingly, and he was wearing equally form-fitting espresso colored cashmere trousers. Joey suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable in the ill-fitting suit that Tristan had given to him. It was several years old and outdated, having been the brunet's high school graduation outfit.

Bakura, who had hitched a ride to the estate with the other ex-spirit, and had been listening in on the conversation, remarked, "I could think of quite a few things to do with 173 pounds of pudding. You just need a little imagination." He purred lasciviously.

"So you finally made it. Late, I see," Kaiba scowled, looking at his watch. Before anyone could protest about the road conditions, he stopped a waiter passing by with a tray laden with crudités. "Tell the chef that all the guests are here, and dinner should be served." Joey watched longingly as the young man nodded, and then disappeared down a long corridor, taking his tray of delicacies with him. The blond's stomach growled in protest. Mokuba ushered everyone into the opulent dining room, seating the lovers across from each other, which left Joey the foot of the table, opposite Seto, who had taken his customary place at the head. The door from the kitchen swung open, and the same waiter Kaiba had spoken to minutes earlier appeared, a worried expression on his face.

As he spoke to Kaiba in hushed tones, Joey watched the brunet's face darken in anger. Then smoke began to waft in from the open door; it became apparent that something was on fire.

"Um, Kaiba. I think I smell something burning," Joey exclaimed. Kaiba cast him a baleful look, and Mokuba, sitting next to his brother, made a cutting motion across his throat.

"Great observation, Blondie," Duke drawled. "I thought dogs lost their sense of smell as they got older."

"Can it, Dice-boy" Joey warned. He stood up and Tristan immediately grabbed him.

"Joey, it's Christmas, remember?" His friend soothed. "Good will to mankind and all that mumbo-jumbo?"

"Yeah well maybe Dice-boy should remember that."

"I didn't hear anything about 'tis the season to be nice to dogs," Duke observed.

"Why you-" Joey's tirade was interrupted as the chef staggered through the open doorway with what appeared to be a charred bird.

"Talk about cooking one's goose," Bakura remarked, grinning. "This is going to be good."

Kaiba stood suddenly as the chef tottered over and clumsily dropped the singed and smoking carcass in the center of the table. Assistants filed in nervously behind their supervisor and began to load the table with various side dishes and condiments.

The chef stood back, swaying gently, oblivious to the overdone goose still emitting curls of smoke. When the final platter had been laid out, he belched loudly and then declared "Bon Appetit!"

Kaiba pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, struggling to contain his growing anger. "Morimoto, you are drunk and you're fired." He said through clenched teeth.

"No he isn't!" Mokuba intervened. "Seto, if you hadn't been such a Scrooge and forced him to work when you knew he was brokenhearted because you wouldn't give him the time off to go to France to be with his wife and her family for Christmas, none of this would have happened," he added.

"So this is my fault, Mokuba?" Kaiba's voice started to grow louder in his anger.

"How about we just order in?" Joey asked, his stomach now in full protest at being denied food.

"What? What kind a restaurant is open at this hour on Christmas Eve?" Kaiba asked incredulously.

"Woo Fong's. They're open 24/7 every day of the year, the number is 643-0100. Their number 91 is ta die for." He replied cockily.

"I don't think I want to know why you are so familiar with this establishment." Kaiba muttered. "Get me the phone," he ordered the waiter, who along with the entire staff had awkwardly remained in the dining room. "Everyone else, clean this ... up," he waved his hand over the table, "and then you are all free to go. Your bonus pay is in with your paychecks."

"And everyone has the day off tomorrow, Merry Christmas!" Mokuba added quickly, much to Kaiba's consternation. The staff let out a collective cheer at the news, and happily began to clean the uneaten meal. Joey grabbed a dinner roll from a passing tray in hopes of taking the edge off his hunger.

Remarkably, Joey was right, and despite the snowstorm, Woo Fong's was open for business. After he'd managed to place all their orders over the phone, Kaiba sat back down and let his head rest against the back of his padded chair. He closed his eyes and listened to the jovial conversation around him, letting his mind wander to the conversation he'd overheard earlier at the Christmas tree lot. So Joey Wheeler had a crush on him. He smiled to himself, thinking about all the hours he'd wasted pining over the blond, whom he'd always believed to be straight. This was most certainly an interesting turn of events, and he planned on making sure that Wheeler did not leave this house before he'd managed to get the sexy blond into his bed. He glanced across the table at the blond, who deeply involved in animated conversation, was oblivious to his gaze. Despite wearing a suit that was ill fitting and outdated, Joey was simply gorgeous. His tousled blond hair was radiant under the candlelight, the reddish highlights glowed and sparkled as he shook his head and laughed at something or other Tristan animatedly regaled him with. Kaiba remembered a line from an old movie, and thought that Joey would look good in anything, even a shower curtain.

"Hey guys, can I have everyone's attention?" Mokuba announced, quieting the amicable conversation. "After dinner, we're all going to go ice-skating-"

"Mokuba, where?" Tea asked excitedly.

"We had a rink set up on the grounds. We also have plenty of skates ... I'm sure that you'll all be able to find a pair that fits."

"It's a good thing it stopped snowing," Ryou commented. He walked over to one of the windows and looked out. "In fact, it's cleared up and the moon is out.'

"Yes," Mokuba nodded. "Tonight is supposed to be a full moon, perfect to skate under and perfect for the sleigh-ride we've planned for afterwards. We're going to have a bonfire at midnight, before we come back here and open presents!"

"Mokuba," Yugi said worriedly, "The invitation didn't mention any presents-"

"Don't worry Yugi ... these are all from Santa!" Mokuba's eyes twinkled.

Joey leaned over to Tristan, "Didn't anyone ever tell him there is no Santa Claus?"

"I think he's taking this Christmas thing a bit to far-OW! What did you kick me for?" The brunet looked across at his love, an exaggerated hurt expression on his face.

"Tristan, I'm warning you for the last time!" Tea glared. Joey snorted derisively and then ducked a swat from her. Before she could admonish the blond the doorbell rang and Kaiba rose to collect the food.

He and the delivery boy carried the food back into the dining room, and then he tipped the young man what amounted to two weeks pay, Mokuba's remark about his Scrooge-like behavior having stung more than he was willing to admit. The food was excellent, far better than he would have expected, given Joey's legendary penchant for eating anything that wasn't either alive or nailed-down. They ate until they were all sated, and then helpfully cleaned up and cleared the table.

Joey dreaded the idea of ice-skating. He was not the most graceful person on dry land, and his skills on skates, to put it kindly, were abominable. The next hour proved to be pure torture for the blond, who spent more time on his ass than he did on the blades. It didn't help that both Kaiba and Duke were incredibly graceful on ice, and while the view of the brunet's posterior was one he enjoyed immensely, more often than not Joey found himself taking it in from the vantage point of being sprawled out on the ice. It seemed that every time the blond felt the least bit comfortable upright, Duke would blast by him and he would find himself spinning helplessly, arms wind milling wildly in a desperate attempt to keep his legs under him. He swore the green-eyed man was doing it on purpose. Kaiba, seeing him floundering, would invariably stop and offer him help getting back up on his feet. Duke, on the other hand, would snicker and comment on how dogs and skates didn't mix well. Yeah, no dog jokes tonight, Joey thought despondently.

After what seemed an eternity, Mokuba signaled an end to Joey's torture, announcing that the sleigh was ready to whisk them away to a warming bonfire. Everyone traded their skates in at the tent that had been erected next to the rink, and then Mokuba ushered them out to the waiting sleigh. A team of 6 Clydesdale's were fastened in traces, calmly waiting along with their driver for the partygoers to get settled into the two rows of double-facing bench seats. Since each couple took up one bench, it left Joey and Kaiba sitting together. He prayed the brunet wouldn't make any dog comments, but it was Duke who remarked, "I thought dogs were supposed to run beside the horses." 

"Just shut the fuck up already, will ya?" Joey snapped. And as Duke chortled merrily, Joey added "If I didn't know any better, I'd think all your jokes were compensatin' fah something, if ya know what I mean."

In seconds Duke was on top of him. "What did you say, Blondie?"

"I think you heard me," Joey challenged, before Mokuba grabbed his lover by the scruff of his neck.

"Why don't you just stop it with the dog jokes, Duke? I told you I only thought he was the most attractive of my friends, not that I wanted to sleep with him."

Joey chuckled. "So that's what's got your knickers in a twist, Dice-boy?" He turned to the younger Kaiba brother. "Sorry Mokuba, you just ain't my type."

"I know Joey, everyone knows you have the hots for Mai. I'm sorry she couldn't make it," he added, casting a glance at his brother.

"Hah," Tristan laughed, "Mai ain't his type either-"

"Really?" Kaiba turned to the blushing blond, "So Wheeler, just who is your type?"

"C-can we just get off the subject of my love life, or lack of one?" Joey looked out onto the glistening snow, avoiding Kaiba's piercing gaze. "Don't you people have lives of your own?" Joey blushed furiously, suddenly becoming extremely aware of the lean body pressing next to him in the narrow seat. At least it offered warmth, he thought as he shivered, realizing his clothes were soaked through from ice-skating.

"You're freezing, Wheeler. Mokuba, hand me that blanket." Kaiba motioned to an opulent throw that was draped over the back of the bench." He laid it across their laps and Joey was grateful for the added warmth.

"Oh Seto," Duke purred, "Don't tell me you have feelings for the Mu-"

"Shut it Duke," Mokuba scowled, or Santa just might put you on his naughty list.

"I was just kidding, Mokie!" The ebony-haired CEO protested. "Everyone knows your brother only cares about you!"

Kaiba glared at his business rival, slowly counting to ten backwards, then forwards and back again. He refused to rise to the bait, refused to insult the blond. Duke had been more than adequate in that department, but after finding out that his attraction to the blond duelist was reciprocated, he had decided that the only rise he wanted to get out of him would be one with ... satisfying repercussions. He smirked to himself and deliberately pressed against the blond as the sleigh lurched forward and turned sharply toward the area on the grounds that had been set up for a bonfire.

The bonfire was roaring by the time the party arrived. The area around the fire pit had been shoveled clear of snow, and logs had been placed around it, once again, each only big enough to fit two people. The theme of the party wasn't lost on Joey, and he was beginning to wonder who Kaiba's 'date' would have been if Mai had been able to attend. On second thought, he really didn't want to know. He took the empty seat next to the brunet, and not wanting say anything to ruin the moment he remained quiet, gazing pensively into the fire. The heat from it radiated through his body and he could feel himself drowsily leaning against the other's body. It was a tremendously comfortable place to be, and the brunet didn't seem to be minding his imposition at all. Yes, he sighed. Perhaps this would be a good Christmas. He made a mental note to himself to seek out one of the mistletoe-bedecked doorways to stand under and wait for Kaiba to pass by.

"Hey Seto," Duke sing-songed. "It looks like you've finally taught your puppy some manners. Does he do any tricks?"

His mood ruined, Joey roared. "That's it Dice-boy, I've had just about enough of you!" Duke snickered and ran out into the field beyond the fire, Joey doggedly chasing him. Getting more and more frustrated at not being able to get near the agile CEO, Joey grabbed handfuls of snow, packed them into a snowball and fired away. Duke easily avoided being hit, and retaliated.

Joey ducked the first missile, but while he was setting up for another attack, was pelted by his opponent. How the fuck did he do that? He wondered, as another ball lobbed at him found its mark. Abandoning his strategy, Joey lunged at the other man, catching him off guard. Both of them rolled over and over through the snow, Joey landing on top, pinning his tormenter below. He grabbed a fistful of snow to rub in the taunting man's face, but before he could, Mokuba was pulling him off.

"Listen, both of you stop! It's Christmastime and Duke, you've been miserable to Joey. I want you to apologize." Before Duke could get a word in edge-wise, he added. "Now, if you expect to get any tonight."

Duke's green eyes widened at his lover's threat, and with a voice that belied that it was only because of Mokuba's blackmail, he said, "I'm sorry, Blondie. Shake?" He added not so innocently.

"Whatever." Joey replied. Suddenly he was aware of how cold it was. His clothes, which had been drying nicely, were now once again saturated with melting snow. He wondered belatedly if all that moisture was good for dry-clean only material, and then thought it was a good thing he didn't pay for the suit.

Mokuba, casting a glare at his unrepentant lover looked Joey over worriedly. "We have to get you out of those clothes!"

"Hey what about me?" Duke pouted. "He ruined my perfectly good leather pants."

Mokuba shrugged indifferently. "No one told you to egg him on. You've been teasing him all night, Duke. I have no sympathy for your ruined clothes. Besides, you have three of the same exact pairs hanging in my closet.

"Seto, you and I should bring them back to the house so they can change." He turned to the others who had just been served hot toddies, "If you guys are okay out here for a few minutes longer, we'll send the sleigh back for you."

"That's fine Mokuba," Yugi answered. "I think we can all manage to keep ourselves busy." He smiled as Atemu pulled him into a heated embrace.

"I think the Pharaoh has the right idea," Bakura purred.

"Uh guys," Tea scolded, "I know we're friends and all, but this is more than I need to know."

"Honey, that prude act isn't going to work with this crowd," Tristan advised, and the rest of the gang broke out laughing before Tea joined in.

Joey was thankful the ride back to the mansion was uneventful. He'd sprawled out on a bench and Kaiba had taken the one next to him. Mokuba and Duke sat in front, their laughter and conspiratorial whispers drowned out by the horses' sleigh bells. He could only imagine what the two black-haired lovers were plotting. From the glances Mokuba tossed in his direction, he was certain it did not bode well for him.

"Um, Kaiba? I didn't bring a change of clothes." He said anxiously.

"I'm sure I can come up with something ... suitable for you." Kaiba replied distracted by the thought of exactly what he had in mind. His lips curved into a smile and he held back a chuckle as he thought of Joey dressed in little more than a pair of sexy underwear and silk pajamas. Then he imagined slowly undressing the blond, kissing his heated skin, sliding his hands underneath the waistband of the pajamas. He groaned softly as his trousers suddenly felt a bit stretched to tight against his groin.

"Are you okay?" The blond asked, concerned.

Kaiba trained his lust-darkened eyes on his quarry. "As a matter of fact, I'm fine," he answered.

Joey eyed the brunet nervously, before he said more suggestively than he was feeling, "Something that will warm me up?" He pulled the blanket around him tighter against the bone-chilling breeze.

Kaiba smiled mysteriously. "Oh you won't be the only one getting heated up."

The sleigh had arrived at the mansion, but Joey made no move to get up. Instead he looked at Kaiba with a stunned expression. That was definitely a pass, he decided, and whatever drugs the brunet was on, he wanted them too. His body was still trembling, but he'd decided that it was no longer from the cold.

"Come on M-Pup, let's get you out of those wet clothes." Kaiba slipped gracefully out of the sleigh, then turned and offered the blond his hand. Joey tentatively grasped it, almost afraid that Kaiba was playing some elaborate joke, and he would end up face-first in the snow. But instead Kaiba pulled him out of the sleigh in one fluid motion and then guided him to the door, one hand placed lightly on the small of his back.

"Seto," Mokuba called after them. "Which bathroom are you taking Joey to?"

"The guest bath on the second floor," he called out as he and Joey entered the house.

The shower felt good to be under-the hot water served to chase the chill from his body and Joey stayed in it until his fingertips began to prune. It occurred to him that it must have been well into Christmas morning; he shut off the water hurriedly and stepped out of the immense stall to grab a towel. His heart dropped to his stomach as he rummaged around the sumptuous room, and his initial anxiety turned to full-blown panic as he concluded there was not so much as a washcloth to be found in any of the drawers and cabinets. It was as if someone had removed them deliberately. The image of Mokuba and Duke, head's together conspiring, in the sleigh flashed in his mind, and he swore he would make them both pay for this latest humiliation.

The only thing in the room that would afford him any coverage as he made his way back to the room that Kaiba had shown him would be his for the evening, was a four-foot long candy cane that decorated one corner of the bathroom. He grabbed it, and shielding his private parts, he made a mad dash for his bedroom. Only he couldn't find it. It seemed no matter which way he turned in the maze-like hallways he would invariably end up back in the same place. He was beginning to truly believe that he'd been transported to some other dimension, like the millennium puzzle, when Kaiba found him wandering.

"Lost?" The brunet smirked.

"Wait til I get my hands on your brother!" Joey bellowed. "Either he or Duke took all the towels. And then I got lost in the fucking labyrinth of a house you own!"

"Well then, you're lucky I found you. I've brought you something to wear." Kaiba proffered some neatly folded clothes to the blond.

Joey eyed the underwear on top suspiciously, before stating vehemently "I'm not wearing those."

"Why not? You said you wanted to warm up." Kaiba picked up the offending garment and dangled it in front of the reluctant blond.

"Yeah, but those are downright kinky!" Joey blurted.

"But feel how soft the fur is," the brunet coaxed. "And imagine it next to your skin. Caressing your most sensitive areas," he continued seductively. Joey had never dreamed that Kaiba was capable of such sensuality, let alone imagined that he would be the beneficiary of such enticing sentiments. Maybe the brunet had a point. Kaiba stepped closer to Joey, and Joey stepped back, maintaining their distance. In his relief to be found, he'd forgotten that he was stark naked. Now that realization hit him full force, and he blushed in embarrassment.

"Uh, can I just get some clothes on?" He asked, suddenly aware that Kaiba was aware of his nakedness too, and the way the brunet was looking at him reminded Joey of the way a starving dog looks at a scrap of meat.

"Mmmm" the brunet purred. "On second thought I think I'd rather you stayed undressed." He advanced another step, and again Joey backed up. He was in the doorway of the bathroom he'd showered in. Suddenly Kaiba grabbed him with his free hand, and before Joey could react, he kissed him.

"Hey, what did you do that for?" Joey sputtered. In answer, Kaiba pointed to the sprig of mistletoe above their heads.

"Oh..." The blond replied. He slowly, tentatively reached for the brunet's face, and cupping his cheeks, Joey kissed Kaiba back. He was surprised to feel the brunet's tongue pressing against his lips. He parted them, and Kaiba eagerly explored the interior of Joey's mouth, running his tongue over teeth and palate, carefully mapping out every depression and ridge. Joey for his part responded ardently, working his tongue across the brunet's lips and delicately teasing at the corners of his mouth. The kiss deepened and they both attacked each other earnestly, somehow Joey's free hand found it's way under Kaiba's waistband, caressing the top of his perfectly shaped-ass, while Kaiba's unoccupied hand traced aimlessly across the planes of Joey's back.

"Hey you two, everyone's waiting for you so we can open presents," Mokuba called out from the opposite end of the hall. "But it looks to me that Seto already has." Joey looked over the brunet's shoulder at the younger Kaiba, who now sported a Santa hat and cringed against the brunet, who instinctively embraced him.

"We should go back to the party," he whispered hoarsely in the blond's ear. "I plan on continuing this later."

"I was hoping you would say that." Joey said, pressing the candy cane against his burgeoning erection. He grabbed the pajamas that Kaiba still held, along with the underwear, which he'd suddenly decided weren't that kinky, or maybe he was anticipating how turned on Kaiba would be knowing that he was wearing them. "Let me just slip into these." He said before disappearing into the bathroom.

Kaiba stood waiting patiently for Joey to dress, his mind reeling from the surge of passion kissing the blond had evoked in him. He eagerly anticipated their after-party party.

They entered the den where the Christmas tree had been erected and decorated to a flurry of activity surrounding the massive fireplace, from which two legs were poking out of.

"What the-?" Joey asked, momentarily confused.

"Tristan tried to unstuck the flue so that we could start a fire," Mokuba explained, "and now he's stuck."

"Joey, I trust you are feeling much better now?" Atemu inquired, noticing his friend's flushed complexion. "You look very comfortable in those."

"Thanks Atemu, yes I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm positively toasty in the clothes Kaiba lent me." He said meaningfully. He glanced at the brunet and noticed a blush coloring his cheeks. Joey smiled to himself, secure in the knowledge that Kaiba had understood that to mean he had donned the chinchilla-lined briefs. The brunet had been right; the soft fur against his sensitive skin was very arousing. He imagined how it would feel to have the brunet's slender hands ghosting over the soft material, further teasing his erection. He quickly diverted his thoughts to Tristan's predicament, knowing if he continued them, he would never last through to the end of the party.

"Uh, guys" Tristan's muffled voice called out, "this isn't funny anymore. Can someone give me a hand?" Ryou and Yugi each grabbed one of the brunet's legs and yanked. After a couple of seconds of nothingness, there was a great tearing sound and all three collapsed in a heap, Tristan on top, the arm of his shirt hanging by a thread.

"So did you manage to open it?" Duke asked.

Tristan grinned sheepishly. "You bet I did."

Bakura rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I'll get the fire going!"

"Okay everyone, the chef made us some cookies to have while we open presents." Mokuba came into the room and Kaiba glanced at the tray of gingerbread men he was carrying, twelve in all, and all were anatomically correct.

"Damn Morimoto!" He swore under his breath.

Mokuba looked at him confused, then at the gingerbread men. "Oh," he giggled, "I asked the chef to make them that way. Eleven men, one woman." He said proudly as he set the tray down.

Bakura stared at the tray wide-eyed before chuckling, "These are rather well-endowed cookies, Mokuba." He took one of the men off of the tray and made a great show of his tongue-skills before voraciously eating the spicy treat.

"Showoff!" Ryou twittered, as the ex-spirit continued to stoke the fireplace.

"Who knew a tomb-robber could be so ... talented." Atemu remarked.

"And resourceful too. But you already know that, don't you, Pharaoh?" The white-haired man retorted.

They were all feeling euphoric from all the activities and the drinks they'd been served at the bonfire. Mokuba sat on the floor next to the tree and began calling out names, handing each guest an ornately wrapped present.

"Don't open these until everyone has theirs," Mokuba directed. He continued distributing the gifts until finally pulling one in front of himself. "Okay, go!" He shouted excitedly.

All was silent except for the mad ripping of ribbons, bows and wrapping paper, followed by the rustling of boxes and tissue paper.

Tea's mouth gaped as she opened her gift to reveal a feather whip and glancing over at Tristan, he showed her a box of edible underwear, his present from the jolly old elf.

"That Santa sure is a naughty one," he chuckled.

"No kidding," Yugi agreed, holding up a leash, the perfect match to Atemu's new silver-studded collar. "What did you guys get?" He asked Ryou and Bakura.

"Hand cuffs-" the smaller man answered.

"And body butter! I'm beginning to rethink this whole Santa fable," Bakura snickered. "Perhaps the elf really does know what we all want for Christmas."

Joey twisted off the cap of his gift of peppermint massage oil. He inhaled the scent and smiled. The smell of peppermint was one of his favorites, and it reminded him of the Christmases of his childhood-before his parents' relationship had failed-when he and Serenity would wake up to bountiful gifts and a tree decorated with candy canes. On Christmas, they were both allowed to eat all the candy they wanted, and often would eat several of the minty canes before their breakfast of chocolate-chip pancakes was ready, while playing with all their new toys that Santa had brought them. He looked over at Kaiba who was threading his gift, a black silk scarf through his hands. The brunet caught his gaze and smiled lecherously.

Joey shivered at that look, nearly melting into a puddle from the heat emanating from Kaiba's gaze. Oh yes, they were going to have a good time later on.

"Thank you, Santa." Duke murmured to Mokuba, as he fingered the sterling silver nipple clamps that were presented in a velvet-lined box. Mokuba smiled beatifically at his lover. "Sweetheart, aren't you going to open your gift?"

Mokuba carefully lifted off the cover of the box in front of him and then squealed with delight. "Oh my God Duke! He's beautiful!" He gently lifted out a beautiful grey kitten around whose neck was tied a red ribbon and a tag, bearing the name "Dragon." The kitten immediately settled into his new owner's lap and began purring contentedly.

"He's a Russian Blue. I remembered how much you loved them from the time we saw them in that pet shop window. Isn't he perfect?"

Kaiba looked at the cat in abject horror, his skin already crawling. Almost immediately he began sneezing uncontrollably. "Mokuba," he stuttered between the sneezes that wracked his body, "Please take that thing out of here!"

Instead of waiting for his brother to comply, Kaiba hurried out of the room towards the medicine chest in the nearest bathroom, certain he would be able to find some Benadryl to ease his allergic symptoms.

Joey followed him, brow knitted in concern. When he found the brunet, he watched in horror as Kaiba swallowed far more than the recommended dosage of two of the fluorescent pink pills.

"Are you okay?" The blond asked as Kaiba then proceeded to splash cold water on his face and rub his reddened and itchy eyes.

"Do I look okay?" The brunet snapped. "Damned Duke. He knows I'm allergic to cats! He just wants my brother to move in with him." He hissed.

Joey stood behind Kaiba and wrapped his arms around the irate brunet, not caring that it could earn him his wrath. "And that's such a bad thing?" He asked softly as he stared at their reflection in the vanity mirror. They made quite an attractive couple, he thought dreamily.

"You, of all people, are defending Duke?" Kaiba asked incredulously. "After the way he treats you?"

Joey smiled back at their reflection and shrugged. "I could care less about him right now. I have everything I ever wanted in my arms. If they love each other, isn't that what really matters?"

"I suppose you're right." Kaiba said with resignation. "Leave it to my brother to fall in love with that smarmy pain in the ass."

Joey chuckled. "Well it will certainly keep the holidays lively, ne?"

"That it will," the brunet agreed. He leaned back against Joey and closed his eyes. The antihistamine was beginning to work, and he suddenly felt like his eyelids were heavily weighted. Joey's heart sank a little as he sensed the brunet's tiredness.

"Let's get you into bed, okay?"

Kaiba nodded his head slowly, and then asked, "Will you stay with me?"

Joey shook his head sadly. I don't think that would be a good idea. You really look dead tired..."

Kaiba sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. I really wanted-"

"I know, me too." Joey kissed the brunet's cheek. "There's always tomorrow," he added wistfully. He led the brunet to his bedroom and within a matter of minutes, Joey had been able to help Kaiba into his pajamas and get him tucked into his bed. He stared longingly at at the brunet, watching him drift off to his antihistamine-induced sleep. He was now free to curse Duke for once again managing to spoil his evening. Oh he would pay the raven-haired CEO back in spades one of these days. He found his room with little trouble this time and soon joined the other man in the land of nod.

Kaiba woke up with a start, and realized that he was in complete darkness. He felt around the cramped quarters he found himself in, while trying to shake the cobwebs from his brain. Slowly he recollected the events of the night before--lingering over the kiss he'd shared with Joey, and the way the blond had tenderly tucked him into bed. But where was he now? He began to punch at the walls of his prison in an attempt to break out. The way they gave when he hit them made him realize that they were cardboard. Somehow he'd ended up in a giant box. Duke, he fumed.

Joey awoke, suddenly aware of a ruckus in his room. In the center of it there had been placed a huge present, and at the moment, the box was being ported across the floor by what ever was inside it.

He jumped out of bed to investigate. A tag had been affixed under a huge bow on the top. The inscription read:

'Merry Christmas, Joey!  
You've been a very good boy this year.  
Always,  
S. Claus'

Gingerly, he opened the top and was immediately punched in the face by a flying fist. He fell backwards, hitting his head on the frame of the bed.

He came to in his bed, a cold compress against the bump on the back of his head.

"... I swear it's the truth Seto!" Mokuba exclaimed innocently. "I did see Santa Claus last night. I thought it was a dream, but the last thing I remember was he dragged this huge box into Joey's room, then I heard him bellow as he ran out of sight: 'A merry Christmas to all, it's been a hell of a night!'" Kaiba looked at his brother, unconvinced.

"There is no way you are going to get me to believe that Santa, a fictional character, left me as a gift for Wheeler."

"Hey," Joey called out weakly. Kaiba turned suddenly moving to his side, eyeing the blond with much concern.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked worriedly.

"About as okay as anyone who'd just been punched in the face." He smiled at the brunet. "You pack some punch, ya know."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize. Instead make it up to me. I think I need a little TLC." He sat up in the bed, wincing slightly from the pain. "After all," he purred, "Santa did say I was a good boy. Now why don't you be a nice present and climb in here with me, and start making amends for your misbehavior?" Kaiba's eyes darkened lustfully.

"I guess I my work is done here." Mokuba whispered to Duke, who'd been observing from the doorway.

"What do you mean, your work? I spent my whole night thinking up ways to insult Blondie to make your plan work!" Their lighthearted bickering continued as they left Joey's bedroom, its occupants completely oblivious to world beyond them.

Merry Christmas

Author's Notes:

Items Used:

-- A talking Christmas tree  
-- A set of 6 plane tickets: destination, the North Pole  
-- A semi-formal holiday party hosted by Seto  
-- A major snowstorm  
-- A Christmas themed snow sculpture contest  
-- Tristan and Joey singing mildly naughty versions of Christmas carols  
-- A parking ticket  
-- Three dancing elves  
-- A large singing holly wreath  
-- One hundred and seventy three pounds of traditional English plum pudding delivered to the wrong address, Duke's  
-- A flaming (accidentally on fire) main course of goose  
-- Ice skating under a full moon  
-- A sleigh ride  
-- A midnight bonfire  
-- A snowball fight  
-- Joey running down a hall, naked, carrying a four-foot candy cane  
-- Fur lined underwear  
-- A sprig of mistletoe  
-- Someone gets stuck in a chimney  
-- One dozen anatomically correct gingerbread men cookies  
-- Peppermint massage oil given as a gift  
-- Mokuba wearing a Santa hat holding a purring blue kitten named Dragon  
-- Seto waking up inside a large, heavy duty box, wrapped as a present  
-- The line: "Then I heard him bellow as he ran out of sight: A Merry Christmas to all, it's been a hell of a night!"

Final word count: 9,073


End file.
